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This blog is exactly what happens when they let just any nut job who can type have a blog!Who Are You?
October 25th, 2008 by angieSS
As you all know, I am relatively new to the blogging world. Hell, I’m still just a wee lass. However, I have been around long enough to begin discovering that now that I am a blogger, my life seems to be splitting into two separate realities. I see no problem with this. Strangely, what I find fits extremely well into my life, seems to be down right troubling to my family. Maybe I’ve fallen under some kind of blogworld spell. Bloggers euphoria, if you will.
Whatever you may call it, I’m perfectly happy with my two realities and I don’t see any problem with them coexisting. However, since I do value my family’s opinion (most of the time) I feel that I may need to figure out how to teach my “real” reality (family and friends) and my “online” reality to start playing nice together. I really do think that there is room for both and surely I can keep them separate. Right?!
If I’m being completely honest, the problem really isn’t the “online” reality as much as the “real” reality. The “real” reality has all of the sudden become quite sullen and is always jacking me about spending way too much time with my “online” reality. Matter of fact, the “real” reality had the audacity to accuse me of neglecting it. It even said that I like the “online” reality way more than I like it. Hmpf…can you believe this shit? I’m like, excuse me, I know you didn’t just go there.
Seriously, like I told the “real” reality, I’m just getting to know the “online” reality and it’s nothing more than that. Hell, I don’t even have to be on here right now and I can get off of here anytime I want.
Huh?
Well, I don’t want to get off right now.
No. I’m absolutely not addicted to my “online” reality. I do lots of other things.
What, what?
Well, I can’t think of anything right now, but just take my fucking word for it. Sheesh!
So, you are probably wondering what the catalyst was for all of this ridiculous turmoil and worry from my family? Truthfully, so was I. I guess, according to my “real” reality, I have been recently confusing it with my “online” reality. And then my “real” reality went on to say that I was becoming way too involved with my “online” reality and was at serious risk of becoming a “computer potato” — whatever the fuck that is!
I totally disagree with this assessment.
Okay yes, so maybe one or two times I’ve had friends over trying to talk to me and I may or may not have said, “Um, could you go home and IM me or email me because I’m having a really hard time concentrating on my post when I have to actually hear your voices.”
And I may or may not have told the family that I couldn’t make it for the family photo this year, but that I could upload a recent photo of myself to Photobucket and they could Photoshop me in. And seriously, I even offered to do the Photoshopping myself. How nice was that?!!
I may or may not have told the kids that they just passed a new law that states that kids under 18 were no longer aloud to be on a computer hooked up to the internet. In my defense though, it wasn’t because I needed more “online” time. I only did this because there are a lot of scary things on the internet and kids taking hours upon hours upon hours to play some stupid fucking online war game could be very susceptible to said “scary” things.
And the other day when hubs came in to ask me a question, I may or may not have forgotten who he was. In my defense, again, I’m sure this happens to every blogger at least once. Right?!
hubs: Hon, where is the remote?
me: Who are you?
hubs: What? I’m your husband.
me: My husband?
hubs: Dave.
me: Dave who? Who the fuck are you? PlainOleDave? TheOffendedDave? CrazyDave? LordDave? C’mon dude you’re gonna have to give me a little more information!
hubs: (shouts ) Just Dave!
me: Thank you. Fuck, that wasn’t that hard JustDave. I mean, dude, could you just IM me or email me with your request. I swear, if I can’t answer it — I’ll Google it for ya. Seriously, I really need to catch up on my Stumbles, Diggs, and Techno-Fav’s and I still have to make my rounds to all of my favorite blogs, and then I have to go to HumorBloggers, Humor-Blogs, and Blogcatalog. Seriously, if you want me to check out your blog Dude, you should just leave me a comment.
hubs: (shaking head) You totally need to reel yourself in from “online” land. (walks away)
Can you believe that shit? What the hell did I say? Damn, you just can’t please some people. I totally told him how to get his question answered — gave him more than one option even!
Anyhowser, I’m not without pity. Maybe I am spending way too much time with my “online” reality. Maybe tomorrow I will make a valiant effort to spend quality time with my “real” reality. Yes. I will show them that they always come first!
Man, I hope they appreciate this. They damn sure better do something worth blogging about. I better go find my camera.
Sorry “online” reality. I hope you can understand. I’ll see you Monday.
Unless…
No. I really need to do this. I said I would and I’m a woman of my word.
But…
If you really need me — just email me.
Surely, I can sneak in here and check my email at least once!!
Pfft…I told you I wasn’t addicted!
Show me that my “online” reality is totally worth it by voting for me for best humor blogger of the year. VOTE now at Humor Bloggers “If you want my body and you think I’m sexy, c’mon baby tell me so (sorry Rod Stewart in the background) — by rating my posts at Humor-Blogs.
Tags: addicted to blogging, Blog, blog euphoria, blog world, blogcatalog, blogging, computer potato, digg, family, humor, Humor Bloggers, humor-blogs, online reality, photo, Photoshop, posts, reality, snarky, stumble, technorati, user name
October 25th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Balancing your “real” reality and “online” reality can be difficult. Thankfully I’ve kept my “real” reality in the dark about my “online” reality. Although I think my “real” reality is starting to get suspicious of my private phone calls where I quickly hang up when he enters the room.
October 25th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
@Ryan
hehehe You mean “online” reality is going to start calling me at home?!! Damn, I’m going to have to learn the art of sneakiness.
October 25th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I’m not sure all of what exactly you said, but I did laugh my bum off. Good luck in both worlds!
October 25th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
This was to funny…I have to stay offline..my kids and hubby drag me away kicking in screaming…lol…naaa but my life is to hectic to be online all the time..I just try to make time to write and read here and there…can get crazy sometimes…I think I twitter way to much tho…oh well…What does my hubby expect..he moved me to this crap small town where I know noone….so I am online..get over it…haha…
October 25th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
I agree, you are so not addicted. Now, if I see you at all the hangouts every night/morning until around 3:00, then I might have to adjust my opinion. ’til then you’re golden!
October 25th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
[...] Who Are You? In my defense though, it wasn’t because I needed more “online” time. I only did this because there are a lot of scary things on the internet and kids taking hours upon hours upon hours to play some stupid fucking online war game could … [...]
October 25th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
My real “reality” doesn’t care what I do, they are too busy being workaholics or teenagers to notice if I am alive, but with all the time I’ve been spending at the Humor Bloggers bar and grille, my blog has been getting suspicious and quite jealous.
October 25th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Unlike you, I know exactly who my spouse is. We email each other every day. Everyone in the house has their own computer and we share stuff on facebook all the time.
We’ve been known to call people on the cell phone who are downstairs.
The only real problem we have is that the cats insist on sitting on the keyboard when they haven’t gotten enough love!
October 26th, 2008 at 12:14 am
@ Chica
“I did laugh my bum off”
That’s always a good thing.
@ Tiffiney
Hey, they deserve everything they get when they move us to the armpits of America!
@ chat blanc
Hmmm…Sandy, I promise I’ll only stay until 1am!
@ Chelle
Well, then you are just going to have to get over to that blog and show it some love. Then when it’s not lookin’ sneak back over to Humor Bloggers. I won’t tell!
@ marvel goose
LOL I think I just spewed my Pepsi on my keyboard.
October 26th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Luckily, I send one off to work the other off to school and drift in cyberspace about 3 hours daily.
“They damn well better do something worth blogging about” - that’s the funniest line to me!!
October 26th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I am so confused..I feel like I just watch Total Recall. So which part of that post was real, and which part was you pretending to be in reality? No really, I feel your pain, my hubby doesn’t approve of my blogging…he thinks I spend to much time on the computer..I say..you have clean underwear? Yes? Then leave me alone!!! When will the little people learn?
October 26th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Go Ang!!!!!
I stumbled it before I finished….I like my cyber friends MUCH better than my real ones (if I had any). And, who cares if vines are growing over my feet, why is that such a big deal?
Eve
October 26th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
How could you let your real reality boss you around like that?! Spending time with the hubs and kids! Whatever!!!
October 27th, 2008 at 2:34 am
I only have a few minutes. My parole officer went to the john and left his computer up and running. This is an extreme violation of my parole. I am looking at some serious time if I get caught on-line. But I am here to say, resist confinement.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:11 am
@ Jannie
Sadly, they did nothing worth blogging about.
@ Jamie
“I am so confused..I feel like I just watch Total Recall.”
And that’s different from any other time of the day, how?!! hehehe
& LOL on the “clean underwear” comment!
@Eve
hehehe…I totally agree, girlfriend. Nothin’ wrong with vine covered tootsies as long as we are happy!
@Kirsten
Hahaha I know, right? I apparently have no balls!
@Stepford Wife Chronicles
LMFAO too funny! I like that — “online” reality at all costs!
October 27th, 2008 at 9:43 am
That was too funny. Once you realize that we’ll be back even if you skip a few days of posting, it’s easier to make time for those annoying ‘real’ people with boring handles.
October 27th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
@ Jim
But I’m using posting every day as my excuse to avoid those “annoying real people with boring handles”!
October 29th, 2008 at 2:39 am
Hey, who needs a spose that can’t find their own thingamawhiz and never even thought about asking Google where it is anyways?
Husbands come an go, and blogs don’t get jealous when you guest post.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:13 am
@Dane
“Husbands come an go, and blogs don’t get jealous when you guest post.”
This is a beautiful, beautiful sentiment. Seriously, it brought a tear to my eye. I’m so glad that I’m not alone.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:26 am
This is why I keep myself surrounded by action figures and teddy bears. Just let one of them get lippy with me and see what happens.
November 11th, 2008 at 8:04 am
LOVE the post! I’m just starting, too, and my real and online realities haven’t met yet, either. Well, one has. But just one. I don’t think most of them would get along too well!