Are you ready to be Snarkyfied? Well, the best place to start your journey is by visiting my About page and FAQ. You can find out how deliciously demented I truly am.
This blog is exactly what happens when they let just any nut job who can type have a blog!I Love Angie Email - Volume One!
November 12th, 2008 by angieSS
If you’ve read my About page, and I’m pretty sure you have, I’m assuming you know I’ve been married like fucking forever. Wait a minute. You haven’t read my fucking About page? Wtf? Well, I’m not going to wait for your slacking ass so you’ll just have to take my word for it.
Anyhowser, in all that time I’ve never even once thought about cheating. Okay, so that’s a lie, but I haven’t thought of it very often. I mean, once a month at most. And it was only fantasizing about Christian Bale so that doesn’t count anyways?
Now where was I ?
Oh yah, I just received an email and the guy requested, rather charmingly I might add, that we “engage” in linking together. I mean, this guy really sounds like my soul mate, my other half if you will. We apparently have a lot in common. And it’s not like he wants the whole world. All he wants is to “exchange” links. I mean, sheesh, why would I not “exchange” links with him? I mean, right? My hubs never wants to “exchange” links anymore. We’ve been married so long I’m not even sure he knows I have a link!
Seriously, he seems like a really cool guy and all he wants from me is to “exchange” links. It seems that it might really be good for both of us…
You know what? I have really thought about it and after careful consideration (okay 10 minutes max), I’m just going to go for it! I’m just gonna throw caution to the wind and totally “exchange” links with him. I mean, if I don’t he’s probably just going to find someone else to “exchange” links with. I don’t want sloppy seconds — is that so wrong?
Oh, don’t fucking judge me. I mean it’s not like it’s something new. It’s been around for a long time and everybody’s doing it!
Whatever. Think what you want, but just keep your mouth shut!
I mean, you tell me…could you turn this charmer down?
Dearest Snarky,
I don’t know how to say this without coming off as overly bold. I’m kind of new to this whole link exchange thing and I’m a little nervous as I pen this letter. I’ve been following your blog for a couple of weeks now and I think we share a very similar sense of humor. Oh my God, I’m so nervous…my hands are sweating. I think it’s the distorted picture on your front page that really has me going here. Ok…Would you, Cup of Snarky, accompany me, Broke But Still Drinking, to the link exchange??
Things I think we have in common: You hate pee on toilet seats, I like peeing on toilet seats. You hate vegetarians, I like eating cheeseburgers while wearing leather. You hate tree huggers, I cut down trees for a living. Did I mention that I was once the worst service industry professional that ever lived? Oh, and I only cried once while reading your “About” page but I think it had something to do with my friend taking the last beer rather than the actual article, but who’s counting?
So if you feel like doing the link exchange, please let me know. If not, please direct me to any other hot bloggers who would be interested in holding my link. If so, let’s shake on it.
**Switching hands** Let’s shake with this one instead.
Yours truly,
LMAO…dude, we are so “exchanging” links! Hehehe…you totally tickled my, erm, funny bone!
Thank you so much for taking the time to email me. I absolutely love your sense of humor and wish you all the best with your blog. And seriously, I know before it’s all said and done — you will have to move on and begin “exchanging” links with many, many other bloggers out there — but I will never forget our link exchange.
Sincerely,
AngieSS ~ The Snark
Show me some love and vote for me for Humor Blogger of the year at Humor Bloggers and rate my posts - Quick & Easy Registration at Humor-Blogs. I swear it doesn’t hurt!
Tags: Broke But Still Drinking, Christian Bale, Daily Crazy, humor, I love Angie email, link exchange, links, snark
November 12th, 2008 at 10:08 am
How hilarious!
Chica’s last blog post..Pardon me, I fluffed.
November 12th, 2008 at 11:03 am
You are so lucky,I only receive hate mail.
thinkinfyou’s last blog post..Keep Your Imaginary Friends Close
November 12th, 2008 at 11:09 am
That letter was so impressive, I am forced to add him to my own exclusive blogroll.
p.s. I just noticed the “Mentors” thing in your sidebar. Thank you so much, you sweet, sweet girl.
DeadRooster’s last blog post..I Proposed Marriage to Over 100 Women and They ALL said “YES!”
November 12th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I’m not one to judge, but, I don’t know … extramarital linking!!! It’s just one more proof of the fucking decline of western civilization; as if we needed any more proof.
Oh well, if your URL lust is too great to resist, all I can say is to remember to practice safe linking. You wouldn’t want to catch any viruses or to have deal any new little Web sites nine months from now — they are so hard to care for and take up so much of your time.
Joel Klebanoff’s last blog post..Imagine
November 12th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I’m just overwhelmed. I need a moment…
Thanks. Have you ever considered turning that letter into a script and possibly making it into a TV movie? Or at least a youtube one?
Joe’s last blog post..Caption This Wednesday
November 12th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I smell a “Dear Angie” thread coming up!
Nope. Nevermind.
I tooted.
moooooog35’s last blog post..Happy Anniversary, Loser
November 12th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
@Chica
@thinkinfyou
Okay dammit, I’ll quit sendin’ those and start sending loving ones.
@DeadRoooster
I know, right? Oh, and you are very welcome ‘o mentor of mine.
November 12th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
@Joel
Okay. I’ll take all of your warnings under advisement, but I’m still gonna do the “linky” with him — I’ll just be sure and use protection. hahahaha
@moooooog
You are so rotten — I knew I smelled ya!
November 12th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
@ Joe
hahaha…that would be a funny youtube skit?
November 12th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I have a confession. Someone offered me a case of beer for your link and I accepted. It’s this damn A.D.D. I get bored easily. One time I asked my mother to please take her phone conversation into the other room because it was distracted me while watching tv. She yelled, “Chad Jeffrey, I’ve been telling you a story for the last fifteen minutes!”
She lost me at hello.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
the dude is a drunk. he only knows how to drink and beg off his friends.
November 12th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Wow. Such grace. Such eloquence. All link exchange requests should be done is such a way. There’s a sort of romanticism and formality missing in our dialogues these days.
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer’s last blog post..Change for the Homeless
November 12th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Am I the first to arrive through the “linkage” portal? Oh, tell me I am?
(I think my first comment went into your spam, feel free to delete)
Megan’s last blog post..It’s a Martini However You Mix It
November 12th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
At least he is something … you are just Mike Says.
Mike Says:
November 12th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
the dude is a drunk. he only knows how to drink and beg off his friends.
November 12th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
@Broke But Still Drinking
Wtf?!! A case of beer? I should have known all you lushes are just alike. Erm, I mean, that’s what I’ve heard.
@Mike
Really? Yah, I would have never guessed that based on his user name…hehehe
November 12th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
@John J
See? I said he was a real charmer! Of course now I may need to reevaluate my initial perception since he did just throw me over fairly easy for a case of beer.
@TheWellHungarian
Oh snap!!
November 12th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
I’m hoping for more details on how good holding his “link” is. Is it a big link? Spill it girlfriend!
chat blanc’s last blog post..Going gaga
November 12th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
@chat blanc
Hahaha Well, I have to admit, between you and me girlfriend, it is a pretty big “link”. I wasn’t even sure if it was going to fit!
November 12th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
@Megan
LOL I believe you were! Woot!
You did get trapped in my spam folder…sorry.
November 13th, 2008 at 8:29 am
That’s great. You can’t catch anything from that, can you?
Jim’s last blog post..Country Roads
November 13th, 2008 at 9:10 am
I’ve offered up a case a beer and a round of drinks for you. Then I tossed in an extra case if Broke tells me what you like most.
Tell me that’s not love.
dadthedude’s last blog post..dude, caption this - 7th edition
November 13th, 2008 at 9:24 am
@Jim
Hmmmm…I don’t think so — I think I’m good.
@dadthedude
Awww…Dude, you’re my hero! I just knew I had to be worth more than a case of beer — I luv ya soooo much!
Erm, it wasn’t Pabst Blue Ribbon was it?
November 13th, 2008 at 10:45 am
lol..to funny…enjoy your affair…lolol…
Tiffiney’s last blog post..Never Stop Chasing Rainbows!
November 13th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
I know that guy. A link exchange his way of having net sex! Hey I just noticed your “mentors” section in your sidebar too…where am I? Geez, more work to do I guess. I read your “About” section, and I must say that it’s the longest fucking “about” section that I’ve ever read! With love (wanna xchange links?) Raider
November 13th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
!COCK BLOCK! Sorry Broke but still dirnking..she is my slutty bitch…keep your html hands off!!
The Hussy Housewife’s last blog post..Secret..Secret..I got a Secret!
November 13th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I can vouch that BrokeBSB is a standup guy and he even promised me a case of beer just to leave a comment
Quickroute’s last blog post..Noche de los Museos (Night of the Museums)
November 13th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Wow…if my lusty letters worked that well with a woman of your stature, hell…well, whom am I kidding…I still would of struck out! First time reader, love your stuff, will continue to dig and look forward to the future!
November 13th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
I have one question. Does his link actually, ahem “work” after all the drinking. That is a very important question.
ettarose’s last blog post..Merry F’ ing Christmas
November 13th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
You want to punch me in the stomach? Don’t link to “broke but still drinking” his grandparents are porn addicts, that’s genetics that is, you can’t argue with genetics, Unless you’re Sarah Palin, or something. And he stabs dolphins in the face. When I was a small boy, he touched me,… down there!… no he didn’t. that’s inappropriate and I’m sorry. You see what he’s done now? Go on, punch me in the stomach, you wont hurt me. I’ve been training twenty minutes a day on the wii fat board, why don’t you stay the fuck away from Chad? he could never love you, you know, he’s incapable.
November 13th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Girl!
I’m supa-dupa excited…this is the kind of stuff I live for. Goin’ to check him out right now….
You are so hot…
Eve
November 14th, 2008 at 4:06 am
That was the hottest thing I’ve read since, well, since you sent me that dirty email the other day.
When you are done with him can I have sloppy seconds??
Chelle B.’s last blog post..The "Deatbeats Tell No Tales" Offensive
November 14th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Dadthedude - I’m keeping her
The Hussy Housewife - You better get used to sloppy seconds.
ettarose - my link works better after all that drinking and sometimes the not so attractive women actually get a shot.
bill dog - Is this Bill dog from the Good Samaritan Church? I thought the court said you had to stay off the message boards. There is nobody under 10 on here. The magazines belonged to my uncle so leave the elderly out of this. Those magazines are the reason my link works so well after drinking.
Eve and Chelle - There is plenty of link to go around but don’t tell Snarky.
Quickroute - You’re Irish so I know you’ll always have my back.
November 14th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Holy Smokes! I’m gone for one day and look what y’all have gone and done. Hahaha I even got my linkage guy answering comments. Woot!
@Tiffiney
Thanks Sweetie! Bet you haven’t ever said that sentence to anyone before.
@RedRaider
Hahaha You know we’ve already “exchanged” links. We been link lovers long time!
@The Hussy Housewife
Awww…you always say the sweetest things! luv ya
@Quickroute
Make sure he gets ya the good stuff!
@G. Eric Francis
Oh, don’t be so quick to think that. Haven’t you seen my “link” page? I’m kind of a “link” whore…hahaha
Hey, really, thanks for the compliments — I’m glad you’re here!
November 14th, 2008 at 9:09 am
@ettarose
You know I wondered that very thing — and you know what? It does!
@bill dog
Hmmm…let me guess? He promised you a case of beer and never delivered it?
@Eve
Hey Sweetie, thanks! You know I thank y’all might have a lot in common. I’m guessin’ he’d be right honored to come visit ya thar at your traila!
@Chelle
hehehe…there’s more emails like that comin’ your way too. This time I sent pics! rawr
p.s. yes you can — he is a pretty “big link” and pretty good too! Fair warning — he does have a tendency to throw linky partners over for a case of beer.
November 14th, 2008 at 9:12 am
@Broke But Still Drinking
LOL Thanks for commenting while I was away — I knew that case of beer would come in handy!
November 14th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Ha ha! That is hilarious!
I wonder what a bottle of Tequila would get me!
Bee’s last blog post..Karate Chicken
November 14th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
@Bee
hehehe You want me to show you?!!