Hi!  I am AngieSS and you have stumbled, tripped, fell, or was maybe even pushed?…onto my “About Me” page!

Hmmmm……(drumming fingers on crappy little computer desk)

Well, I guess it probably won’t lead to your untimely death and destruction so you might as well stay and read on.  (though there are no guarantees here)

By the way, from here on out you can call me Angie.  All my friends, fans, and stalkees do.

I’ve been told that I’m not an easy person to figure out, much less to describe, but I will try.  To be very honest, I’ve been trying to figure out for years what the fuck is up with “ME” and “ME” hasn’t always been an easy proposition.  I’m probably one of those people that you either love or hate.  If you are nice to me, you will never find a sweeter, more loving person.  If you are mean to me, you will hurt my feelings and make me cry…and then I will release the evil that hides within and make your life a living hell!!!  See how well I know me.

Why don’t we just start at the beginning?!!  Really, this is the only way you will be able to truly appreciate my sometimes sick and twisted attempts at humor, my sarcasm, cynicism, and my all around snarkiness.  This is the only way for you to really get “ME”.  I promise, this will help you in those times that you read one of my posts and think “WTF?!!  Oh, yah.  She did say that she was crazy.”

Okay.  Now, no tears here please…just bear with me and you will see the humor in what I call “my life”.

So, I came into this world as the cutest little rag-a-muffin that there ever was.  I tell you I was adorable.  I don’t really have photos of myself before the age of 2 to prove this claim (when your parents intend to abandon you, photos probably are seen as a silly, wasted, out-of-pocket expense), but you can take my word for it, based on my later photos, I was precious times 10!!!

Shit.  You need tissue already?  Damn and I’m not even to the good part yet!

When found, I was sent to an orphanage with my 3-year-old brother.  The three older siblings went to live with other family members.  Apparently, 2 and 3 year olds who weren’t potty trained and had never used utensils, were considered as too much work.  Anyhow, this is where the same adoptive parents adopted us both.

Life would be great from here on out!

Yah, right.

So, my adoptive father was crazy.  I say “was”, not because he has passed on, but because it seems over the years he’s become more mellow.  Although, that might be due to his lack of control over my life and his age…anyone could kick the shit out of the old buzzard now. I won’t go into any of the specifics of my childhood, but needless to say, I wasn’t feeling a whole lot of love so of course, as any child would, I thought that there was surely something horribly wrong with me.  I was unlovable!  By the time I was 18, I had absolutely no self-esteem, no confidence, deep-rooted feelings of worthlessness, and a burning inner rage.

Sheesh, would you stop that blubbering.  You’re getting the monitor all dewy.  I’m telling you…I wouldn’t be “ME” if not for all that bullshit.  And I’m fucking hilarious, I tell ya.

It’s going to be okay.  Just hang in there.

I know it seems somewhat fucked up that you would be abandoned and adopted by someone with mental issues, but hey, you cannot imagine what comic fodder can be derived from this kind of childhood.  I mean, sometimes I’m so crazy that I even confuse myself.  The therapy and self-analysis alone are priceless.  My feelings of inadequacy color every idea or issue I discuss and I will fight until bloody to win, so I’m super fun to debate with.

Heh, good times, good times!

By now, I think that you are gaining a clearer picture of me.  I am clearly one slightly fucked up individual with neurotic tendencies.  I am full of contradictions.  I’m a real sweetheart that has an unbelievable need to love and be loved.  I get my feelings hurt so easily.  My empathy overfloweth…I cry at sad movies and even, pathetically enough, at sad commercials.  I’m like an adorable little puppy that you want to nuzzle.  Unless….you are mean and hateful. (please refer to above reference to nice vs. mean)

See, I am absolutely ripe with comedic possibilities.  Now aren’t you glad you found your way to me?  Just think of all the gut wrenching laughter you will surely succumb to while you are here.  Really.  No need to thank me just yet.

I’m sure you are curious if someone as deranged as myself actually managed to find someone to marry.  Absolutely.  He is my extreme opposite.  I’m sure he still wonders after 20 years what the hell he ever did to deserve “ME”…must have been a real bastard in a previous life or something is my guess!  Anyway, my husband affectionately calls me “Sybil”, though I think I’m way cuter than Sally Fields.  We have also been blessed with three wonderful children of various ages.  I love them more than life itself.  And it’s always fun and interesting to see how they deal with a crazy Mom like me.  I tell ya, you won’t find better hide-and-seekers.

Well, I could go on, but I think I will leave everything else as a mystery.  You will just have to read my posts daily to try to figure out exactly who or what I am. Please feel free to comment.  I love when people agree with me and love me.  If you feel you disagree with me, go ahead and leave your comment as well.  Like previously stated, I love a good debate.  However, please keep in mind that I did warn you that I love being right.  I LOVE being right!

Hopefully, I haven’t scared you away.  I think this whole blogging thing is just what I was looking for.  Really.  I have already made such progress in my life and I think this will allow me to really express myself; let the crazy out, so to speak.   However, my husband would probably debate that I already let the crazy out on a daily basis.

Seriously, I really think I am coming full circle; morphing into a more normal human being.

On the other hand, maybe I’m just good at making anyone believe that I am totally normal.  Hell, I just might be living right next to you and you don’t even know it!

So remember….always be NICE.

Your Resident Snarky,
Angie

p.s. Any complaints of this site or various posts can be emailed to me at angie at cupofsnarky dot com where they will promptly be filed in my “I don’t give a fuck” file where it will never be forgotten.

p.s.s.  All love or hate mail can, and probably will, be used for comedic fodder.  Everything you say to me will be taken extremely personally…you have been warned! (please refresh your memory on nice vs. mean)

p.s.s.s.  George Clooney you are on my celebrity “freebie” list so email me when you get a chance!